My mom died 14 months ago. That means it’s more than a year now and I’ve done everything I could in this 14 months to keep myself away from being sad. But like a rubber band, each time, it would hit me harder and every time I would try my best not to face it

But tonight, I didn’t buy junk food, nor watch a movie, nor calling my relatives, nor drowning in social media. I didn’t even try to distract myself in the good ways too, like singing, going shopping or even cleaning

I’ve just took a shower. I was feeling really sick. like to the point that I hated to have to stand there in my body. I put on a really nice outfit though. Just because I want to sit in the sadness, doesn’t mean I’ll do nothing to be drowned in it

,My epiphany has ignited because I’ve been reading this book, called “The perks of being a wallflower” and I’ve learned a lot from the main character, Charlie, Who is an introverted highschooler, trying to figure stuff out. He’s reading many books that his Literature teacher gives him, which is really inspiring. The book is just letters that he writes to an anonymous friend. I’m more than halfway through and it’s already started to change the way I think and write

I want to tell you everything. Every single thing that I’ve thinking about, everything that is happening or has happened in my life. I want to be honest. I don’t want to hide anymore